By now, we know that hacking into a webcam is fairly easy, and that covering up your webcam is generally a good idea. But lately, the internet seems to have made a bizarre, poignant peace with the idea that someone might be watching us - not rogue hackers, necessarily, but the FBI itself.
Jokes about the "FBI agent watching our computers" have becomes ubiquitous on Twitter in recent weeks, to the point where that phrase has been replaced, largely, with "my FBI agent." The tweets are often mini-stories: the narrator does something meant to be seen by no one, only to remember there is someone watching on the other side.
In some instances - the ones that make the meme so good - the FBI agent takes on a nurturing role, like an internet fairy godmother. Sometimes they offer support. Sometimes they send iMessages, offering advice on whatever personal predicament they've observed through the webcam. The little fake anecdotes are often genuinely touching.
One fake FBI agent even saved their assigned subject from a murder. Wow!
And it's this character - the fictional agent who cares - who has become the meme's primary star.
The agent wants the best for their subject. The narrator, conscious of how boring their life must be to observe, tries to entertain the FBI agent. They have pleasant conversations. They develop a forbidden friendship. They become quiet, lightly subversive allies.
In one example, when the narrator works too much, the agent reminds them to get more sleep. In another, from the author Jonny Sun, the narrator and the agent make small talk. The agent recommends Grace and Frankie. It's like a scene from an endearing buddy comedy.
Except they aren't buddies. Not to get all Black Mirror on you, but being online is an extremely lonely experience. No matter for whom we are posting, we're doing the posting alone. And if the FBI is watching you? It's not because they want to swap book recommendations. There exist genuine concerns about who the FBI chooses to surveil and why.
And that, perhaps, is the great romantic tragedy of the FBI agent meme. It derives joy from a relationship based in fiction. It's nice, but it isn't real.
Friends, this might seem like a whole lot of feelings to project on a meme. And it is. But the truth of it remains - in life, we are all so alone, and we are all so online.
We might as well have a few nice pods of comedic fantasy to help us along the way.
